An emergency broadcast direct from the sewers of Lawrence, Kansas. Pizza is on the way. Please remain seated.
By unanimous order of the Heroes in a Half Shell and the entire roster of Allen Fieldhouse, Monday, May 11th, 2026 shall hereafter be known as Sarah Davis Day. All pizza ovens are to remain on. All chants are to be amplified. All Shredders are to stand down.
That on this day, the legendary Sarah Davis celebrates another trip around the sun — looking, frankly, suspiciously still in her twenties.
Pizza ovens have been preheated. Confetti cannons have been calibrated. The Phog is rumbling. Krang is in time-out.
This is not a drill. This is a celebration.
16,300 fans are on their feet. The Phog has gone full chaos mode. The chant has been amended for one day only:
Before we proceed with the festivities, the Department of Sibling Affairs is required by law to formally acknowledge the following:
On this, the occasion of your birthday, we are once again obligated to remind the public — and the historical record — of the immortal truth first established at Christmas:
(The chips were plentiful. The plethora was confirmed. The legend lives on.)
Let it forever be known: that Christmas remains undefeated, the chips were objectively a plethora, and any sibling who claims otherwise will be reported to El Guapo immediately.
Sarah —
I tried to write you a normal birthday message. I really did. But normal felt insufficient for a sister who's part Jayhawk, part ninja, and 100% the kind of person who makes life louder and funnier just by being in the room.
So instead I built you a federal holiday, recruited four turtles and a rat, conscripted 16,300 KU fans into a custom chant, and reminded the entire internet that yes, the chips were a plethora.
Hope your day is radical, Rock Chalk, and absolutely overflowing with whatever the snack equivalent of a plethora is this year.
Love you, sis. Have the best birthday.
— Ryan 🐢🏀🍕
Happy Birthday, Sarah Davis.
May your year be radical, your Jayhawks be undefeated,
and your chips be ever plentiful.